excerpt (part 890656653278)

song on iTunes: Talk Show Host/Radiohead/Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack


from "something called free"

..all i have is
these meal of memories
and i cut them in squares so
they are easy to digest
but i have caught myself afterdreams
sticking my fingers down my throat
trying to regurgitate my past onto my bed linens
in hopes my sheets will reek the scent of love
and maybe ill have a date for valentine's day.
i came to the altar like a child
trying to decode my feelings of being lost, of being lonely
into colors that i could show
the ghosts that hung in my bedroom
like tattered pictures. and i swore they laughed
like i swung from their trees
i am love's strange fruit.
uttering overwritten poetry to anyone that will listen.
how can they feel me?
i have seen myself outside of myself
and i have shook my head. i've taken pictures.
and I have given the world the negatives.
i have made a habit of calculating my laughter
measuring my moments of jubiliation
to create my film called perfection.
i'm just chasing some sort of freedom whenever
i awake.
but i've become friends with my future. he sends me flowers.
and i have learned to embrace my feminine side.
i kissed another woman and i think i could
love her. she tasted like
phrases searching for a page
the moments before a prayer.
the seconds before a breakbeat
the title of this poem.
the answer to a question.
the first syllables of a promise
and i come to her with a bouquet of all of my experiences
of being loved and forgotten
and offer her my name.